* Eagle on presidential seal replaced by Tofurky™ brand meat substitute
* New rule: anyone who beats the President in Jenga takes responsibility for Iraq
* Use his newfound influence to get the gig he really wants: panelist on The Best Damn Sports Show Period
* Quietly remove Dick Cheney’s tarrasque from the basement of the VP Mansion
* Now that things have slowed down, finally get around to returning that broken tv to Circuit Cit… oh.
* Relax import restrictions to allow Cuba to send us some of their smokin’ hot Latina babes
* Spend $14 million on a graphic designer who will update the flag by making the stars a slightly more modern shade of white
* Lob a couple of missiles into Romania, just to let the vampires know we’re paying attention
* Free health insurance for any American who promises to never, ever get sick
* All scissors to be replaced with the less dangerous rounded-tip kind
* Look into buying that America-shaped island in Dubai, just in case

I'm all for the Cuba deal!

This was taken from Woot blog.