Gore, age 64, says he'll don an asbestos suit and approach the fiery volcano from the windward side in an attempt to reach the rim. Fortified with 4 cases of beer, a diuretic, and a bag of potato chips, Gore plans to piss over the rim in a brazen attempt to extinguish the molten lava. Gore claims he'll have a special protective device with him to keep his pee-pee from looking like a charred marshmallow.

Gore claims he's done a similar thing when he was 13, when camping out with the Boy Scouts, he pissed on a camp fire to put it out. Gore also recalled another time concerning his piss aiming ability, it was so good, he wrote *Tipper *in the snow surrounded by a heart. Tipper thought it was cool, even though at the time she thought Al was an asshole.

Gore feels hopeful he'll end the plumes of volcanic ash that has plagued most of Europe and secure another Nobel Prize.

His soon-to-be ex-wife still thinks he's an ass hole.

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