that chick is so hot

2>Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his grandmother in the face for telling him there is no Santa Claus.

3>Chuck Norris is the only human in recorded history to ever actually walk on the ocean floor.

4>If Chuck Norris had a hammer, he wouldn't need it. For anything.
5>If you shaved off Chuck Norris' beard, you would find a tatoo of an identical beard underneath.

6>Chuck Norris decided to can and sell the smell of his farts which are irresistible to women. The product is known as Axe bodyspray.

7>It is believed that King Arthur's legendary sword Excalibur is actually a strand of hair from Chuck Norris' beard.

8>Chuck Norris creates global warming everytime he works out.

9>Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.

10>Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

11>Chuck Norris once had his reflection walk out of the mirror just to roundhouse kick meter-maids, while the REAL Chuck Norris was having a three way with his wife, and his reflection's wife.

12>Chuck Norris beat IBM's Deep Blue in chess in under 30 seconds, then killed the families of the engineers who designed it because Chuck Norris has no patience for incompetence.

13>Chuck Norris' left testicle was declared The Milky Way's tenth planet in 1978.
His right testicle remains the Duke of The Thirteenth Republic of South Greenwich.

14>Chuck Norris is the reason Saddam Hussein was in his hole. When caught, Norris kicked him in the face saying "Ya can't hide bitch!"

15>When asked if videogame-related violence was a threat to America's children, Chuck Norris promptly roundhouse kicked Jack Thompson in the face. Ironically, moments later two 13-year-olds were found dead less than a mile from the scene, attempting to reenact this stunt.

16>"Luke, Chuck Norris is your father"

17>Chuck Norris breaths in carbon dioxide, and breaths out oxygen.

18>Whenever Chuck Norris has an orgasm, a building explodes.

19>Life handed Chuck Norris Lemons. He roundhouse kicked life in the face while saying "I ordered a BEER BITCH!"

20>If you were born after the year 753 BC, Chuck Norris is your father.

the66 wrote:
who would win in a fight between norris and god?.......... Trick question... norris is god

Wrong, Chuck Norris would strike down god for trying to impersonate him.

HandoEX wrote:
Fuck Chuck Norris.....we'll see if the bitch shows up tonight...I'll be ready if he does..
Hahaha Go get him Jason!

Jason > Chuck Norris

LT1 wrote:
^^^ that is true
quoted.

LT thinks Chuck>bruce

chuck>bruce still.

tjamz wrote:
/stir /stir /stir

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. Bruce Lee's fighting style was unique, it combined many aspects of martial arts of different disciplines that it was hard to combat his style, or lack there of. For example, if you know someones fighting style (Judo, Tae Kwon Do, Jujitsu, Ninjitsu, Karate, etc...) you know what type of attack to expect. Lee was the MASTER of incorporating all styles into his own style...an ever changing style. He was not a hands fighter solely, nor was he a legs/feet fighter. He didn't rely on just his knees or elbows. He relied on one weapon more than any other...his brain and his ability to channel his energy. I remember reading about his famous 6" punch, from six inches away, with no wind up, he had enough force to break literally any bone in your body with one hit. I don't ever recall Mr. Norris being able to make such a claim, or anyone else for that matter. Its too bad Bruce Lee died when he did, it would have been interesting to see what he could have done to change the way people pursue martial arts disciplines had he had more time to establish his methods and techniques.
What is funny about the situation is that they use to train together back in the late 60's. They use to have sparring matches, and Bruce would charge Chuck $1k per hour to train him.

Really the only reason I respect Chuck is becuase he trained with Bruce Lee.

STiSchucky wrote:
lmao i remember that conan clip mitch..lmao.

chuck would roadhouse kick you in the face jason.

I may be wrong but isnt it "ROUNDHOUSE" KICK TO THE FACE and not ROADhouse??

STiSchucky wrote:
chuck norris would beat the shit outta lee.

/stir /stir /stir

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. Bruce Lee's fighting style was unique, it combined many aspects of martial arts of different disciplines that it was hard to combat his style, or lack there of. For example, if you know someones fighting style (Judo, Tae Kwon Do, Jujitsu, Ninjitsu, Karate, etc...) you know what type of attack to expect. Lee was the MASTER of incorporating all styles into his own style...an ever changing style. He was not a hands fighter solely, nor was he a legs/feet fighter. He didn't rely on just his knees or elbows. He relied on one weapon more than any other...his brain and his ability to channel his energy. I remember reading about his famous 6" punch, from six inches away, with no wind up, he had enough force to break literally any bone in your body with one hit. I don't ever recall Mr. Norris being able to make such a claim, or anyone else for that matter. Its too bad Bruce Lee died when he did, it would have been interesting to see what he could have done to change the way people pursue martial arts disciplines had he had more time to establish his methods and techniques.

STiSchucky wrote:
chuck norris would beat the shit outta lee.
Someone's brainwashed :rolleyes: That's fucking ridiculous^^^