#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're
new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make
your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of
a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I
guess that means I can write anything I want on the
ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift
supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I
mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning
you not to do that again or I'll give you another
ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat
or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy,
and step in monkey DOO."

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my
wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used
to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many
tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through
CPIC/NCIC.."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
personal friend of yours. At least you know someone
who can post your bail."

And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right,we don't. Sign here."