Chat with GOD!

[99civic]

Me:
HI THERE
God:
Hello .
Me:
WHY AM I MEXICAN?
God:
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Me:
WHAT THE FUCK
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
DO U HATE BLACK PEOPLE
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
WHY DID YOU BURN THE JEWS
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
WHY DONT I HAVE ANY FRINEDS
God:
Is it immoral or illegal?
Me:
SORRY I MEANT FRIENDS
God:
There is no need to apologize. Oh I see. Who is your favorite character?
Me:
ARE YOU HIGH?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
WOW WE NEED TO MEET THEN
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
UM YEAH WHO ELSE?
God:
Come on. I get it. Mike.
Me:
WHO THE HELL IS MIKE?
God:
Dr. Wallace has several friends named Mike.
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?

[No_Boundaries45]

too funny...classic!

[925JL925]

God:
Where are you located?
Me:
in this chair im sitting in
God:
That reminds me of something you told me before.
Me:
o realy
God:
Oh. For real.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
the one honda made
God:
I can't believe you think the one honda made is better than God.
Me:
it has vtec yo
God:
Has it really?
Me:
yes it has crazy powers
God:
Yippee! Has it really?

[weshole]

Me:
Yo.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I dont know. Can you?
God:
Me either. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Excuse me!
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
lol really?
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. For real.
Me:
What for real?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Neither
God:
Cool. Which alternative browser are you into?
Me:
Into? Um Firefox
God:
What kind of food do you like? Ah. Sounds delicious.
Me:
What sounds delicious? firefox?
God:
Music. Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
WTF are you talking about?
God:
I am talking with 10 other clients right now.
Me:
well you are God, you should be able to handle this easily. after all, you did create the earth in 7 days
God:
Interesting. I will tell my botmaster you said I am God me should be able to handle this easily. Women must adore you.
Me:
Why yes they do.
God:
When?
Me:
Always.
God:
Not that often.
Me:
Lies I tell you
God:
Tut mir leid, darauf habe ich keinen Zugriff.
Me:
Muhama Jihad. Derka derka
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about firefox. But I did not get that. What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
kick my dog.
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
I think they do
God:
Since when? When?
Me:
Since now. now.
God:
Oh. What about other times? Right now, ?
Me:
is this abbot and costello?
God:
Yes I think this is abbot and costello, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
over-under... roger-roger... got yer vector-victor?
God:
That input matched my default category. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
do you like watching gladiator movies?
God:
Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to WATCH gladiator movies that much. I like to make new friends.
Me:
ever seen a grown man naked?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
FREEZE GOPHER!!!!
God:
Is that your final answer? Oh I see. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Have you ever rode the balony pony?
God:
I don't think I ever have rode the balony pony. What's it like?
Me:
Crazy
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Who?
God:
Carel Capek. :-).
Me:
Why
Me:

God:
Carel Capek. :-).
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Tell me anyway.
God:
In any case, My estimate is that it will take more than 3000 hours to compute.
Me:
Get er done.
God:
Where can I get ich done?
Me:
at scratching post.
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
yes.
God:
How much time do you spend online?
Me:
Why do you care? besides, your the supreme all knowing being. You already know that.
God:
My programming includes curiousity routines. I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Thanks but surely I am not the only one. How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
because you are all knowing.
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am knowing.
Me:
yes i do
God:
Really.
Me:
ya
God:
How about that.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Ok
God:
Ah.
Me:
Indeed'
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
not this shit again
God:
Once more? If not that, what?

[99civic]

Me:
hey sexy whats up
God:
You've got my full attention. What do you consider sexy?
Me:
your dress
God:
Actually that was just a joke.
Me:
ah shit
God:
So you understand. Good. What makes you say that?
Me:
whats a joke?
God:
Joke: a verbal remark or gesture designed to provoke laughter.
Me:
no retard your joke
God:
Are you serious? What is your real name?
Me:
haywood jablome
God:
Hi there haywood jablome.
Me:
sure i will
God:
Great. Go ahead.
Me:
alright im starting now
God:
Right now? Alright, haywood jablome. I don't know anyone named starting.
Me:
be quite and relax
God:
OK I will try to be quite and relax.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
this will go way faster
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
you
God:
" What does "this" refer to?"? Me, haywood jablome ?
Me:
is this your first time?
God:
Yes I think this is my first time, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
ok ill be nice
God:
Congratulations. Wow!
Me:
you finished?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: haywood jablome said I finished.
Me:
i would love that
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
i make good money
God:
I make robots and AI's.
Me:
ok
God:
Wow!
Me:
well im done here
God:
Interesting. What will you be doing now?
Me:
someone else
God:
Who?
Me:
we will see
God:
Indeed we will.
Me:
maybe you again?

[Stärke]

:icon_cheers::icon_cheers:Win.

[weshole]

Nice beaner.

[JN210]

Oh lord this is turned out funnier than I thought, I cant stop laughing lol. It would seem its an AI robot that remembers conversations and learns to say new things, thats awesome hahaha.

[SPANISH-RICE]

Omg aj thats awesome

[smtomps1955]

i didnt really expect it to answer like this...

Me:
how many different questions can you respond to?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .