Funny Stuff
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Actual Newspaper Headlines
- Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Farmer Bill Dies in House
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
- Stud Tires Out
- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
- If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
- Include your Children when Baking Cookies
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
- Eye Drops off Shelf
- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
- Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
- Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
- Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in 84
- Steals Clock, Faces Time
- Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
- British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
- Air Head Fired
- Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
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