an article about winter.

[MisterCMK]

This was in the Spectrum a couple of weeks ago.

Walking in a Winter Wasteland

The most disgusting time of the year

By Davin Wait
Columnist – NDSU Spectrum

Winter does not officially start until 7:22 p.m. on Dec. 21.  If you’re wondering why I’m telling you this, be patient.  You’re reading in the right direction.  I’m getting there.
In my self-described genius mind, winter starts the day after Halloween.  Do I have a reason for this?  Yes.  I’m already shivering, winter sucks and so does the day after Halloween.
To many, the day after Halloween is nothing but Nov. 1
To others, the day after Halloween means a charitable donation to someone’s driveway consisting of pounds and pounds of beautifully decorated pumpkins.
And for many more, the day after Halloween is spent in bed because the day – or rather the night – of Halloween was more fun than expected.
The reason Halloween occurs when it does has nothing to do with some age-old Celtic or Mexican tradition, as some would have us believe.
Halloween occurs Oct. 31 because people need one last hurrah in preparation for the crappiest of crappies – winter.  Moreover, that is why numerous holidays occur when they do.
Any religious historian can tell you that Santa Claus was not born Dec. 25.  
We only celebrate Santa’s birthday in December because that was when he built a manger and again, people need to spend money on toys and jewelry to be happy instead of focusing on their cars that won’t start and their toes turning black.
And Thanksgiving?  Give me a break.  If we wanted to celebrate the first meal the Pilgrims had in this glorious land we would be eating moldy bread and fish heads.
Thanksgiving was invented by a sadistic turkey farmer who was seeking escape from the white and depressing moments of December and probably just spent 11 hours digging his truck out of a ditch while a turkey gobbled in his ear. 
This brings me back to my original point: winter sucks.
I understand that I’m probably offending a lot of diehard hockey players, ice fisherman and snowmobilers by dismissing each sacred second if winter.  
What you need to remember is that we were conditioned to enjoy these things because they are the only things we can do in the winter to have fun, unless we enjoy looking like idiots when we slip on the sidewalk. 
Furthermore, all of these activities are better in warmer climates anyway.
Snowmobilers just enjoy “goin’ fast” like Ricky Bobby, but understand that is hard to do on an icy highway without quickly leaving that icy highway.  
Hockey players want an excuse to hit things at some dork who agreed to play goalie, and who are we kidding… ice-fishing is an excuse to drink beer and play hearts.
Ice-fishing was probably first tried by a drunk who enjoyed testing God by walking on a lake and trying to tell himself he was doing something productive.  
“Maybe I’ll catch more fish if I sit here and drink more beer.  This is much more productive than hunting.  It’s kind of cold; I should probably build a house out here too.”
I’ve digressed a bit from my main topic as usual, but the point here is that there is a reason “the holidays” do not occur in the summer.  Ever day in the summer is fun; the exact opposite of winter.
The only big holiday in the summer is Independence Day, and we can’t change when Will Smith blew up the aliens.  
It just gives us a day off work to go “ice-fishing” and forget about the coming winter, which started Nov. 1.

[Bookem]

First of all who puts beer down long enough to play hearts while ice fishing??????

[amicheze]

heh. that was funny.

[STiSchucky]

was that supposed to be funny

[treimche]

That was pretty sweet. I agree about winter sucking. The only good part about winter is snowmobiling, oh and remote starters.

[Sweet-WRX-Lovin]

Wow, what a Sally. Winter was the shit when we were kids, the only reason it starts to suck is that we get too selfconcious as we get older to go sledding down hills or making snowforts and playing king of the hill. Bah gotta go to work....

[24valvenotak]

i agree... nobody is making you stay here, why dont you just move south and deal with tornados and hurricanes instead?