Obama's Promises
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Secret Plans of the New Presidential Administration by Jason Toon & Scott Lydon Thursday November 6, 2008 9:00 AM
* Eagle on presidential seal replaced by Tofurky™ brand meat substitute * New rule: anyone who beats the President in Jenga takes responsibility for Iraq * Use his newfound influence to get the gig he really wants: panelist on The Best Damn Sports Show Period * Quietly remove Dick Cheney’s tarrasque from the basement of the VP Mansion * Now that things have slowed down, finally get around to returning that broken tv to Circuit Cit… oh. * Relax import restrictions to allow Cuba to send us some of their smokin’ hot Latina babes * Spend $14 million on a graphic designer who will update the flag by making the stars a slightly more modern shade of white * Lob a couple of missiles into Romania, just to let the vampires know we’re paying attention * Free health insurance for any American who promises to never, ever get sick * All scissors to be replaced with the less dangerous rounded-tip kind * Look into buying that America-shaped island in Dubai, just in caseI'm all for the Cuba deal!
This was taken from Woot blog.
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